after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
