there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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