she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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