I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
