a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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