singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Can you bring me the toilet please
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
