Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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