To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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