She's JV to your varsity
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
