So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize