By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
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just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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