Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
