..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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