so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
