It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
