no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
