Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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