im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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