I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You ate ashes out of my bong
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
