all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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