jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
