I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I need a beard to bite.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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