guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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