i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
is that a dick in a sweater?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
