I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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