i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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