And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
