He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
