New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize