in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize