jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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