We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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