To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
