before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
