But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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