My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
