p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
