If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
and she was petting her beer can
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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