I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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