My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
