I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Oh god it's open bar.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
