when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
