it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
