My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
