i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
