Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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