It's like a parade of train wrecks.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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