i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
