i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
