Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
