The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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