You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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