help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
