those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
