Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
