Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
