You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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