I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm always down for nudity.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
