WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
