Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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