Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize