If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
