Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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