so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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