I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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