I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
